To My Dad, On Father's Day

Dear Dad,

A few months ago I heard you answer the phone and talk with so much kindness and gentleness to a man whose parents’s home had just burned down. He was a policyholder, calling about insurance questions he knew you could answer, but over the course of that phone call I got to listen to you love him, counsel him, make him feel seen and known. It was the kind of conversation I’m sure you have every day, but hearing it in that context made something click in my mind about the kind of man you are. 

You often joke that you don’t have a magic wand you can wave to fix everything. I suppose you’re right - it’s not a magic wand. What you have is this dogged determination to love the people around you so well. And to the rest of us, it looks an awful lot like magic. 

I’m only just uncovering the incredible gifts of my childhood with you as my dad: the weeks you spent taking us on vacations, planning everything out in such a way so the whole trip felt like magic to me. The way you noticed the things that were meaningful to each of us and then spent intentional time doing them (for me: reading and build-a-bear stuffed animals.) The easy way you hug me, laugh with me, love on mom. 

All these things you worked so hard to do felt like they just fell into place effortlessly. You never demanded your hard work be applauded or even noticed. You never pointed out the sacrifices you made. You were quiet about all that. You just loved me and our family well. 

I could talk about so many things that make you an incredible father - your patience, kindness, hard work. But it’s this determined love of yours that makes you unique. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life uncovering the little ways you love me and the people around you with this seemingly impossible level of intentionality and hiddenness. 

You’re in a league of your own, Dad. 

Happy Father’s Day. 

Photo: Stefanie Madison | Be Light Photography

To My Husband, On His Birthday

Today is my sweet, caring, handsome husband’s birthday. If you haven’t met Josiah, you should know he is kind and funny. He laughs big, loves big, and cares for the people around him in really specific ways. He’s the first to forgive and the first to ask for forgiveness (even when I’m the one more at fault.) He’s loyal to his friends and puts in the time and effort to make sure the people around him feel seen and cared for. He’s wise beyond his years - which is pretty wise considering how old he is (sorry love - just had to get one birthday joke in there.) 

He is quick to listen, quick to learn, and quick to love. When he’s passionate about something, he’ll read approximately 73 books on the subject, talk endlessly about it, and share “funny” bits of what he’s reading. (You should be warned he will laugh much, much harder than you while reading anything by G.K. Chesterton.)

He’s an incredible writer and teacher. And he’s incredibly humble. Most wouldn’t know how well he balances being a full-time pastor, seminary student, lifelong learner, loving husband and father, and friend to more people than I can count. Most wouldn’t know so I’ll just tell you - Josiah wakes up before the buttcrack of dawn at 4am. He takes care of our dog, he kisses me on the cheek while I sleep, and then he goes to his office to work for several hours on schoolwork or reading. He then works a full day pastoring at the church, usually more than 40 hours a week with absolutely no complaint. He loves to pastor people, answer questions, sit with them in their pain, comfort them. He’s amazing at what he does, and most people only see a tiny glimpse of that when he preaches on Sunday mornings. 

When he comes home, he plays with our daughter and loves her. He delights in her and I can’t help but thank the Lord for how Abbie is getting this picture of how her heavenly father delights in her from her dad. He reads to her, laughs with her, takes her on walks and plays with her at the playground. He helps me care for our home even when he would be completely justified in just kicking his feet up and watching tv for the evening. He reads before bed and kisses me goodnight. 

If someone would have told me I’d marry a man like this, I would’ve thought it was too good to be true. Josiah is one of my favorite gifts from the Lord, and I can hardly believe I’m married to him most days. 

Today, at his request, we’re eating lunch together and burgers for dinner. We’re going to go on a little date night to the movies and eat too much popcorn. It seems too simple a celebration even though it’s what he wants. I want there to be fireworks and confetti and a carnival. I want the whole world to celebrate this man with me. But he wants a quiet evening together and a simple meal. Isn’t that just like him? To be so worth a big celebration and instead to choose a quiet evening? 

I hope I become more like this man every day. I’ve learned so much about life and love and loyalty from him already, and it’s an honor to be his wife.

Here’s to you babe. Happy birthday.

Photo by Jenna L. Richman Photography

Dear Abigail | On Your First Birthday

Dear Abigail,

Oh my sweet girl. I can’t believe you are one year old today. It feels like just days ago I was in the hospital with you still tucked in my belly. It feels like just days ago I met you for the first time, your wiggly self placed on my chest, tears streaming down my face with the pure ecstasy of that moment with you. It feels like just days ago we brought you home, stepping inside our quiet little house that has never felt the same since because now it is the house we brought you home to. It’s unreal to me how those moments feel so close in my memory and yet they were a whole year ago. 

You are growing so fast. You toddle around some now, but when you really want to get somewhere fast, you crawl. You’re a lightning-fast crawler, a girl on a mission. You love stuffed animals - some favorites being your Steffy bear, Nemo, Winnie the Pooh, and your meerkat. You also love to play with your Little People barn, putting the animals inside the barn and shutting the little white doors. Recently you’ve created your own little hidey-nook behind the chair in your room, and you take toys and books with you to play in your own little spot. A few days ago you took a small pillow with you and reclined against it after you set it down against the wall just the way you wanted. I can’t help but marvel at who you are. 

Tonight, after you drifted off, I sat next to you and watched you sleep. I prayed over you, that you would grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Your daddy tells you every day that we love you and Jesus loves you. I don’t know how much I’m doing right with you, if I’m mothering you well, caring for you well, but as you sleep I try to memorize the length of your eyelashes, the gentle pattern of your breath, the curve of your ear. I try to memorize these things about you and I pray and it feels a bit like faithfulness. 

I love you dearly, my sweet girl. I can’t believe you’re one year old. I can’t believe I’ve been loving you and mothering you for a full year. You are a gift to me beyond words and I am thankful for you. I love you and Jesus loves you. 

Happy birthday Abigail. 

Love,

Mom 

Photo by the amazing Jenna L Richman Photography.